A/C, Internet, and Coffee

87. See an amputee stripper.

Wait, what? When did that happen?

Some force in the multiverse (insert diety of your choice here) has apparently decided my life was too easy and 2009 was the time to fix all that.

First, I had to move. Don't get me wrong, I got a few benefits out of that but moving sucks. And now, I'm moving not one, not two, but FOUR more times in the next 4 months with two of those moves being essentially couch-surfing. The icing on the homeless cake is that apparently, there won't be a place available for me in Germany when August has to be there so I'm... NOT GOING. Not yet, anyway. August goes, then finds a home for us, then I get to go. The estimate is 60 to 140 days for that to happen.

Second, I got laid off. As if being a giant negative on the balance sheet of the company I served loyally for over four years isn't enough, the timing is absolutely fucking rotten. Remember those four moves I talked about above? Tell me how I'm supposed to get a job if I'm not in one place for more than a couple months. Really, how?

Third, and I know this is minor, the pharmacy couldn't read the doctor's handwriting for the ONE prescription I really needed. I've been suffering from vertigo for several days so the doctor gave me something to fight a possible infection (and it may cause dizziness), something to drain the fluid from my ears (and it may cause dizziness), and something to fight the dizziness. Guess which one they couldn't read?

And finally, the kittens have fleas. I don't think I need to elaborate.

I'm not sure if I can call it official since I still technically have my Houston apartment, but I now live in Tennessee. With my husband.

I'll just wait here while that sinks in.

After three weeks of packing (I move slowly), two days of loading the truck, and two days of driving, we're here. The kittens, poor dears, have been such troopers. During the packing, they enjoyed box city. So many places for mischievous kittens to hide. During moving day, however, they got locked in the bathroom and DID NOT LIKE IT. When we finally let them out, they had knocked over their food and water bowls, scattered litter everywhere, and torn up everything they could get their claws in to.

The driving was as tedious as it sounds, and I didn't even drive! August did. I'm not sure I could have handled that much driving with such a huge vehicle. The kittens hung out in their carrier in the seat between us. For the first two hours they were frantic. Then they calmed down and slept pretty much the whole day. That night, the hotel we picked to stay in didn't allow pets and had signs everywhere stating as much and warning us that the premises were video monitored (and they were). So we snuck them in James Bond style.

I am now convinced that they will NEVER sleep with us at night. Those little monsters made noise all. damn. night. Pouncing on toes, stampedes across the pillows, wrestling on the chairs. It's amazing how much noise they make =)

We arrived at around 8 last night and unpacked the kitten stuff and a tiny sliver of the boxes from the truck. August and one of his friends are going to do the rest at some point today. I'll help once I'm finished working (oh yeah! I'm supposed to be working right now...).

I have so much crap, I'm in awe, and a little afraid. It completely filled a 17 foot uhaul and my car. I'll probably do another purge now that we're here. I mean, our kitchen doesn't have any drawers!!

Anyhow, I'm here and all I can think is how much I want is some Taco C =)

Read the comments.

That would be my stomach rumbling. Moral question: If my husband is too jet lagged (i.e. asleep) to go to dinner with me, can I eat his lunch left overs instead?

From Adrienne Cody Owen.

1. What are your middle names?
Boyd and Diane

2. How long have you been together?
There's a sort of debate going... but somewhere around 5 years =)

3. How long did you know each other before you started dating?
About two years

4. Who asked whom out?
There was no "asking out" so much as "be my boyfriend" and he made me ask.

5. How old are each of you?
I'm 26; August is 29.

6. Whose siblings do you see the most?
Probably his but I don't keep track.

7. Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
The distance. I'm so ready for him to be home.

8. Did you go to the same school?
We met at A&M. We both grew up in the Houston area - him Houston proper, me Kingwood (fake Houston).

9. Are you from the same home town?
Only because Kingwood was annexed.

10. Who is smarter?
Me ;-)

11. Who is the most sensitive?
Me. All those pound puppy commercials? I'm a gonner.

12. Where do you eat out most as a couple?
La Madeleine, Black Horse, Old Chicago.

13. Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Orlando. That will change soon, though!

14. Who has the craziest exes?
I've never met any of his so I'll just say mine.

15. Who has the worst temper?
I'm going to call this a tie.

16. Who does the cooking?
Does microwaving a lean cuisine or ordering the pizza count? We both cook about equally but not regularly.

17. Who is the neat-freak?
Me. There's a place for everything and everything in its place. The counter (or kitchen table, or desk top) is not a "place", it's overflow storage.

18. Who is more stubborn?
Tie.

19. Who hogs the bed?
Him.

20. Who wakes up earlier?
Him.

21. Where was your first date?
Um... I'm not sure?

22. Who is more jealous?
Me.

23. How long did it take to get serious?
10 months.

24. Who eats more?
Have you met us? Me, of course! No, seriously, he does.

25. Who does the laundry?
We do our own. I'm not sure he'd trust me with his.

26. Who's better with the computer?
Him.

27. Who drives when you are together?
I dislike driving to an extreme degree so if ever I can hand over the keys, I'm all for it!

I'm still uninspired, hence the nearly two month long break. I can't find anything I really, truly, unavoidable, inexplicably want to share. My life isn't really boring just... uneventful? I feel like I'm moving from event to event without really feeling anything. I've been really busy but the quick secession makes me less likely to invest in each event. Ahh, the joys of introversion. I hope to change the malaise soon. First, a wedding of a long time friend, then visiting a wonderful friend who I miss a ton. And KITTENS!!...

..My kittens are awesome (blog, unupdated = http://darkkittehs.blogspot.com/, video = http://www.youtube.com/user/berry243, pictures = http://picasaweb.google.com/hollydgeorge, please, try not to act surprised, you know I like attention :-). I'm still too uninspired to write or try to find a theme, but I really want to document them. They're wonderful. It took a while, but Eclipse loves me (of course, little slut =) and Batman is now my buddy. It's taken almost a month, but he wants to be near me and is actually sleeping right next to me, and purring, now. I feel like a bad parent - picking a favorite. I try to give them both the same amount of attention but I fear it comes off wrong because Eclipse finds me but I have to find Batman... I think waaaay too much!

Anyhow, what inspired me to write: Kathy Griffin. Believe it or night, I <3 her. She's hysterical. She's beautiful. She's the new face of whatever age she is. She has obviously had a TON of work done and she's been open about it. Her boobs are 4 inches higher than they should be if she was my age (25, fyi =D). But I still love her. I'm scared of getting older because I'm opposed to plastic surgery but I'm not sure if I can handle nature (and also, I'm really 26 but I don't want to admit it.)

And just in case you didn't know (there are only two readers who don't know, I'm sorry!!!), I'm moving to Germany in October, maybe sooner. And I'm drunk. Stupid internet being so appealing post alc-y!!

Speaking of, I'm totally unimpressed with my constitution. I bought an absinthe kit with, allegedly, 4x the amount of wormwood and I feel nothing. I hate my body. Low doses of artificial hormones? I'm a psycho bitch. Mildly hallucinogenic compounds? Not a damn thing. Now I'm glad I was so good. Any effort or money spent would have been totally wasted. I hope you see this b/c I'm going to remove it when I sober up =)

I've been ordered to blog despite my protestations of being utterly boring so you get to hear about the one weekend a year when I'm popular! Any of you facebook peoples have already gotten a preview.

Somewhere in this orgy of food and alcohol, I decided that I no longer had a reason to get older so I should just stop counting years. I'll be 25 until I have kids at which point I'll just be another old fart.

On with the show!

25 part 2 - 1 Week
The Death by Chocolate murder mystery doesn't actually contain chocolate! It does, however, contain feather boas, a peg leg, and lots of audience participation. Scanned pictures coming, well, never because I'm not sure how to operate our scanners. Sorry! Also, "clever" or "funny" reviews earn a free bottle of champagne!

25 part 2 - 2 Days
The biggest piece of cake I've ever seen. Times 2. The lovely Becky and I had cake at the Dessert Gallery. The cake was forgettable but the frosting was worth eating by itself. I got to relive childhood with a game of Chutes and Ladders (did you know there are little moral lessons in the game? Apparently pet shows: good. Riding your bike without hands: bad.) I was winning until I hit the big slide. LAME.

25 part 2 - 1 Day
Sushi with the coworkers! They sang to me with a fish shaped tambourine and gave me a fried banana for dessert. I have a picture but I still don't know how to scan.

Dinner with my dad and his girlfriend, Shelly. My first beer was ready TODAY so I brought a couple bottles over to sample (Dad bought me the beer kit). I think it tasted like pine trees. It will also probably taste better after aging for another month or so. Also got to harass their kitties.

Also, I say "also" a lot because I don't know any better contractions.

25 part 2!
Leftover cake (ok, frosting) and champagne for breakfast! The champagne I won last weekend. Honestly, you get what you pay for... I mean, twist top champagne? Really?! OJ made it tolerable.

Shopping and lunch with the mom, mother in law, and sister in law! There's a little shop in the Village called Naked where you mix your own scent and they'll put it into bath products for you. It was pretty overwhelming. I left with a slight headache. Lunch was at Mi Luna. I love being able to try one of everything.

Late show at the Laff Stop! The host was actually kind of funny when he wasn't making vulgar jokes. Funniest joke of the night: I saw a bum with a sign that said "will work for food." So I gave him a coconut.

After party at the Guava Lamp. I heart the bartender. He gives free shots and makes up drinks for me on command. Strong drinks. Very very strong drinks. Which leads in to....

DRUNKEN INTERNETTING! The facebook posting... sorry guys. Really. And a drunken email to my friend/designated driver that I honestly don't remember. And a phone call to my Husband!! I remember talking to him and that's about it.

25 part 2 + 1 Day
Pedicures!... No, wait, something else first. Ok, worst idea of last night: putting the drunk girl in charge of setting the alarm for the next day. We were supposed to get pedicures at 10am. Remember drunk girl setting the alarm? I set it but didn't turn it on... oops! So rather than being there at 10am, I woke up at 10:40am. Thankfully, the wonderful girls at Fiori were able to squeeze us in at 11!

Post pedicure... SPEEDING TICKET. First one in 6 years. And here I thought I was doing so well. At least I can take defensive driving for it.

Holly's personal hangover cure: giant burrito from El Ray's. It's the right combination of carb-y and cheese-y without being greasy. And did I mention it's giant? Because that's not an exaggeration, I swear it weighs 3 pounds. This was supposed to be chocolate and cheese fondue at the Melting Pot but the fuckers aren't open on Super Bowl Sunday! LAMEx2!

And finally the Super Bowl party! Not birthday related but it just so happened that it capped off my weekend so it gets included as well. It involved a chocolate fountain (and it's accompanying 2+ cups of oil), lots of guacamole, falling asleep during half time, and Guitar Hero. For the record, Guitar Hero is harder than Rock Band. Because I know you kids care =)

And one of these days I'll remember to take pictures for you. I'm attempting to make my own beer and unfortunately it will be at least two months before my first batch (mystery brown ale, the kit was a gift, I'm not entirely sure what it's supposed to be) is ready. I remembered last night while starting the second batch (mystery hefeweizen) but alas, my camera battery was dead. Maybe next time!

I've already made three trips to the brewer supply store (DeFalco's) and I foresee many more in the months before I move. I'm definitely from the Hansen School of Taking up a Hobby: we go all out. Shiny new specialty equipment, all the books, making the investments up front and hoping to stick with it.

Anyhow, as I'm sitting here, I can hear my beer fermenting (the excess gas is venting through a tube submerged in water so what I'm actually hearing are bubbles) and it's kind of exciting! Hooray for new hobbies!

A few side notes: it feels strange to see "Hansen" in type in reference to myself. Also, when the mystery brown ale is ready, there will be a party =). And that kitteh up top? He's my logo.